I first began using a Gravely tractor when I was in my early teens and continue to this day.  For those who have experience with a Gravely, it’s likely I’ve just raised some memories they’ve been trying to forget and they are now heading to the liquor cabinet.  I will be doing the same shortly.  Before I do, let me explain what a Gravely tractor is.

A Gravely is a piece of equipment that can perform a variety of tasks around a yard with the use of one of its many attachments.  All this function was driven by a single cylinder, four stroke engine that sits on a small chassis.  Thus, when the Studebaker Corporation began to build and sell these machines, it was for these, yard functional, reasons they applied the name Gravely Tractor across the side of the hood.  As it turns out, due to the small chassis and hood, the name was shortened from Gravely Tractor of Pain and Lawn Care.

The concept of the Gravely and its various attachments was developed before the human race realized some manner of safety was desirable around machines.  The lack of active safeties, however, was offset by the orchestra of maneuvers required to operate the tractor.  The designers must have figured, if you were able to keep it going you would be too busy to get hurt on anything.

A normal person lacked the quantity of appendages required to properly operate a Gravely, thus had to compensate through quickly changing tasks.  Trying to operate the throttle, choke, directional lever, and range selector in the right order and appropriate quantities took skill.  Combine that with the fact when a Gravely was idling it would cruise across the lawn at four miles an hour.  This meant at any given time you were likely standing on one foot, using your other extremities to control the equipment and keep it where you want it.  The first circus plate balancers got their beginnings as Gravely owners.

Constantly shifting your center of balance, reaching from one lever to the next, applying just enough of this and backing off just enough of that is an exhausting affair.  Though, with enough practice and development of your skills, you will eventually get the Gravely started.  This is always a triumphant moment.  With a sense of achievement, as a first time Gravely user, you will step back to admire your success.  You’ll wipe the sweat from your eyes and looking upon your machine, throw your hands in the air and let out a scream of excitement so loud it draws the neighbor’s attention.  The neighbors inevitably will investigate your cries and you will be forced to explain why you had your hands in the air, excitedly screaming, while chasing the Gravely across the lawn and through the family flower garden.

I should take a moment to point out a potential problem.  Even mastering all of the skills required to get a Gravely started does not ensure quick results.  Many different factors can come into play requiring your efforts to be adjusted and the time spent, extended.  Hence, the problem arises regarding how much time you find yourself investing into this machine.  In actuality the problem arises between you and your spouse as you will inevitably spend countless hours with your Gravely.  This may put a strain on your marriage.  So, to head off this potential issue it’s best to invest some time in romance, sweet talk and gentle caressing and I think you will find this helps.  Though, I don’t advise buying flowers.  Giving flowers to your Gravely after all that romance, sweet talk and caressing is just a bit odd.

Once the Gravely is running, and staying where you want it, you will notice two unique factors.  First, you will wonder why the planet has begun to vibrate at a high rate.  Your vision will blur as the environment bounces around you.  Everything settles out once you let go of the handles.  As it turns out the Gravely shakes and oscillates at a high rate.  After years of use you will eventually become accustomed to the violent shaking of the machine, however, it’s very difficult to ever fully manage.  The first time I thought I had it under control, I attempted to enjoy a cold beverage.  As it turned out the shaking was still more than I could handle and I ended up spilling my drink.  This upset my wife and she sent me back outside before I ruined the carpet.

            The other idiosyncrasy of the Gravely you will notice upon startup is the exhaust.  The engine sits about 24 inches in front of the operator at crotch level.  At first you may think this is a bit unsafe, but the Gravely designers were always thinking.  So, between the hot, internal combustion engine and your crotch they installed a chamber that serves two purposes.  It buffers your delicates from the engine, and it contains 2 gallons of gasoline.  Genius!

            Despite this buffer, the engine exhaust is still much closer to your ears than one would want.  Thus a muffler had to be employed.  This was accomplished with a piece of pipe, 2 inches long and a tuna fish can stuck on the end.  A new Gravely owner may not immediately recognize the design flaw in this muffler and attempt to perform yard tasks at hours that may be considered a bit early by the neighbors.  The echoing bang-bang-bang of the engine occurs at a rate of about ten times per second sounding very similar to rapid fire.  Not only will this startle the neighbors, suddenly waking them, but it’s not good for your health.  The consistently loud noise in your ears will muffle the sound of your recently awakened neighbors rapid fire.

            On one occasion, after moving into a new neighborhood, my neighbors had not yet been introduced to a Gravely.  After starting mine up in the garage I began mowing my back yard.  Shortly after two officers came walking around the house to investigate a report of “gunfire.”  As it turns out we all had a chuckle over a cup of coffee.  They understood the situation as they were also Gravely owners.  I just wish I had known that before offering them the coffee while they stood on our new carpet.